Growing up my brother used to tease me that if I was being nice and happy toward him that I must be in my "10% time". At first, I was as confused as you probably are right now. When I was grumpy and short and snappy with him, he would say I was in my "90% time". So if you hadn't already guessed it, what he was saying is that pretty much MOST of the time, I was moody broody and snooty! At age 15 I was in COMPLETE denial that I was really that moody, *sniff* "He just didn't understand and was being a big meany! psh!" lol But alas I get to admit its true, so very true. Problem is, even though I've calmed down a bit, I STILL get in my funk where everyone just better WATCH OUT... OR ELSE! hahahaha! OK, maybe I shouldn't be laughing, b/c its really not that funny but man, I can be really hard to handle! I guess I feel that laughing at myself is better than getting out my handy dandy Beat Up stick to beat myself down. So what are you asking my friend? What got me to admit that I was so dramatic as a teenager and admit to the drama that I still create in my marriage? My answer is simple. A Mirror. A Mirror in the form of two enthusiastic, adorable, amazing, and OVERLY DRAMATIC children. (Thank you Heavenly Father for letting them be my teacher! :D)
Yep! They seriously both deserve Academy Awards for their performances! Not only in the over the top tantrums that they can display but also in their enthusiastic silliness and laughter. Shall we say, they are both very expressive in whatever emotion they share! I sadly admit that the needless tantrums they've so easily adopted have been learned from me. Now before you have a visual of me laying on the ground kicking and screaming and flailing my appendages, -wow, that would be ridiculous and scary at the same time!- No, my tantrums are in different forms, usually they come in the form of me yelling and threatening and shaking my finger and letting out low grunting sounds like a bull kicking up dirt and getting ready to charge. Yes, sadly its true. So taking a good look at what I've created, and not liking my results, I've started doing something about it. This change is a result of my sweet 7yr old son, whom after receiving a very dramatic tongue lashing from me, very lovingly told me that when I treat him like that, he doesn't feel like I love him. Hmmm, What do I do when I hear that? Do I yell some more at him, and tell him that if he'd just obey, then I wouldn't get angry...implying that he's the one the "MAKES" me angry?... or do I humble myself? I decided to humble myself. And right then I told him, that no matter what he does, I don't have to choose anger and he doesn't deserve for me to go all banshee on him. I told him, "I'm committed in this moment to speak kindly to you, and choose to not be so upset and I choose to be loving." I also told him that he can assist me by being obedient and listening to me the first time I ask him to do things etc. Well, it took a few minutes, but the blood pressure came down and my heart opened up and gushed with love for him. I had to keep repeating in my mind that I CHOOSE to be loving, I CHOOSE to be kind.
Since that first experience, there have been MANY opportunities for me to choose love over anger. I admit, there have been a lot LESS times that I actually did. However, they are becoming more frequent. What I have noticed is when I choose love, my kids reciprocate that love 10 fold! They become peaceful instead of aggressive. Its empowering to know, even in the heat of it...I CAN choose differently and change the entire atmosphere in my home. It is only with a prayer that I'm able to do it, but by me tapping into God's power, I feel stronger. I also feel a physical shift in my body. When I'm angry, I feel like a dragon with fire burning inside of me, when I shift mentally and emotionally into love and gratitude, my body feels light and free. Its just an observation but its been powerful for me to take notice.
So, this is just one experience, but what about the times when everything in my day seems to go wrong? When people are jerks to me or hubby and I have a fight (Yes, we fight!)...or I woke up late, scheduled too many things too close together thus feeling behind and feeling way too stressed!....I'm going to address these situations in part 2...Stay tuned
Yep! They seriously both deserve Academy Awards for their performances! Not only in the over the top tantrums that they can display but also in their enthusiastic silliness and laughter. Shall we say, they are both very expressive in whatever emotion they share! I sadly admit that the needless tantrums they've so easily adopted have been learned from me. Now before you have a visual of me laying on the ground kicking and screaming and flailing my appendages, -wow, that would be ridiculous and scary at the same time!- No, my tantrums are in different forms, usually they come in the form of me yelling and threatening and shaking my finger and letting out low grunting sounds like a bull kicking up dirt and getting ready to charge. Yes, sadly its true. So taking a good look at what I've created, and not liking my results, I've started doing something about it. This change is a result of my sweet 7yr old son, whom after receiving a very dramatic tongue lashing from me, very lovingly told me that when I treat him like that, he doesn't feel like I love him. Hmmm, What do I do when I hear that? Do I yell some more at him, and tell him that if he'd just obey, then I wouldn't get angry...implying that he's the one the "MAKES" me angry?... or do I humble myself? I decided to humble myself. And right then I told him, that no matter what he does, I don't have to choose anger and he doesn't deserve for me to go all banshee on him. I told him, "I'm committed in this moment to speak kindly to you, and choose to not be so upset and I choose to be loving." I also told him that he can assist me by being obedient and listening to me the first time I ask him to do things etc. Well, it took a few minutes, but the blood pressure came down and my heart opened up and gushed with love for him. I had to keep repeating in my mind that I CHOOSE to be loving, I CHOOSE to be kind.
Since that first experience, there have been MANY opportunities for me to choose love over anger. I admit, there have been a lot LESS times that I actually did. However, they are becoming more frequent. What I have noticed is when I choose love, my kids reciprocate that love 10 fold! They become peaceful instead of aggressive. Its empowering to know, even in the heat of it...I CAN choose differently and change the entire atmosphere in my home. It is only with a prayer that I'm able to do it, but by me tapping into God's power, I feel stronger. I also feel a physical shift in my body. When I'm angry, I feel like a dragon with fire burning inside of me, when I shift mentally and emotionally into love and gratitude, my body feels light and free. Its just an observation but its been powerful for me to take notice.
So, this is just one experience, but what about the times when everything in my day seems to go wrong? When people are jerks to me or hubby and I have a fight (Yes, we fight!)...or I woke up late, scheduled too many things too close together thus feeling behind and feeling way too stressed!....I'm going to address these situations in part 2...Stay tuned
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