Hubby and I are very passionate...I know, hard to believe right? So, when we fight, we fight passionately! Throughout my marriage, one thing I've found challenging is putting myself in Hubby's shoes. I get stuck in feeling justified as to why I'm angry at him and I don't want to feel where's he's coming from because that would mean that I might be wrong and we just can't have that. ;) Hubby finds this challenging too as you could probably imagine.
Nine times out of ten, Hubby is the first one to soften and to apologize. I find myself very blessed to have a husband like him! He is really good at putting himself in my shoes and will relate to me very well. When we fight and also when we aren't fighting, Hubby has brought up his concern with me not being willing to put myself in his shoes. This conversation has been ongoing for almost 13 years now. I've made tremendous progress, but he made a very important discovery the other day, when yet again, I was unwilling to put down my pride and see things from his perspective. He stopped what he was doing, which was wanting me to see through his eyes and instead walked himself through the 4 steps of accountability. What was amazing is that as SOON as he did that, my guard came down and I immediately wanted to do the same thing and suddenly it was easy to see where he was coming from. I shared that with him, which surprised him as much as it did me. ;D He said, "I guess it really is NEVER about the other person, because whether or not you want to see things from my perspective, as long as I'm working on seeing things from yours, that's what's important." And in that, he spoke truth. He has no control over me, nor I, him. So we can't force each other to do anything, but man, when he took accountability, let me tell you, I was definitely inspired by it and wanted to show him how much I love him! It was a very cool breakthrough for us. It has been a turning point for our marriage.
Are there things in your marriage or other relationships that have worked for you that you'd be willing to share? If you don't want to post a comment, but are willing to send an email, I'd love to hear from you! melliesmiles@gmail.com
Nine times out of ten, Hubby is the first one to soften and to apologize. I find myself very blessed to have a husband like him! He is really good at putting himself in my shoes and will relate to me very well. When we fight and also when we aren't fighting, Hubby has brought up his concern with me not being willing to put myself in his shoes. This conversation has been ongoing for almost 13 years now. I've made tremendous progress, but he made a very important discovery the other day, when yet again, I was unwilling to put down my pride and see things from his perspective. He stopped what he was doing, which was wanting me to see through his eyes and instead walked himself through the 4 steps of accountability. What was amazing is that as SOON as he did that, my guard came down and I immediately wanted to do the same thing and suddenly it was easy to see where he was coming from. I shared that with him, which surprised him as much as it did me. ;D He said, "I guess it really is NEVER about the other person, because whether or not you want to see things from my perspective, as long as I'm working on seeing things from yours, that's what's important." And in that, he spoke truth. He has no control over me, nor I, him. So we can't force each other to do anything, but man, when he took accountability, let me tell you, I was definitely inspired by it and wanted to show him how much I love him! It was a very cool breakthrough for us. It has been a turning point for our marriage.
Are there things in your marriage or other relationships that have worked for you that you'd be willing to share? If you don't want to post a comment, but are willing to send an email, I'd love to hear from you! melliesmiles@gmail.com
